Talk about sex? ACKWARRDDD…..

Having sex is sometime easier than talking about it. We NEED to talk about it, ya we know that. Every hour of every day , someone is contracting HIV, an no it’s not just in Africa. It is here in North America too.

Step 1: Expectations. For some people sex means we love each other and are dating, for some it is a Friday night and no we are not dating. Being on the same page, expecting the same thing. Another thing we can’t forget. Consent. Only yes, means yes. Setting boundaries for what YOU are comfortable with. Great, this means talking. Here are a few things that can help.

  • Talk at a convenient time. Not when you are drinking/high, or at work and busy.
  • Choose a neutral location, like coffee place, restaurant, park, where you both won’ be pressured.
  • Use “I”.  For example, “I would be more comfortable with a condom.”
  • Tell your partner that you are open o questions, and won’t be offended. And don’t be.
  • Be patient. Success doesn’t come from making someone do something. It means that you both have said what you think and feel respectfully and honestly and that you have both listened.
  • Get reliable information (so, not from the skatepark) that you need to protect yourself  (like this website) about whatever you need. Birth control and STIs for example. How it works, where you can get it, and testing.
  • Avoid making assumptions. This means ask open- ended questions. What do you think about waiting till after we graduate to have sex? Not When will you have sex with me?
  •  Ask for more information when you are unsure. Like, I think you said you want us to use both condoms and the pill? Is that right?
  • Avoid judging, labeling, blaming, threatening or bribing your partner.
  • Talk before you are intimate, or getting it on. In the heat of the moment, it is sometime hard to think straight.
  • Stick by your decision. Listen to your heart. It takes courage to do the right thing.

It’s your body, no one else’s. Respect yourself. Protect yourself.